Steve never considered himself a voodoopunk. Not really. They're friends of his; he enjoys the rituals, even if he's not sure he believes in them and doesn't really take part, and they don't mind being used as models when he brings his sketchbook. Bucky spent less time with him then Steve did, but they knew him, in passing and through Steve's stories; and Steve, well, he was there at least every couple of weeks, if not more often.
Often enough that when he doesn't turn up for a month, they come looking for him. And when he tells them what happens, they practically drag him out of the house to that night's meeting, and things start happening, and nowhere along the way does Steve have the chance to say no.
No, that's not true. He could have. But he never does, never stops to think about the dolls that lie in the streets and what might have happened, never considers how it might turn out. All he knows is that they're offering him a way to get Bucky back, and he doesn't have the strength to say no to that. Not when the wound is this fresh. Maybe if he'd had a chance to heal, but not now, when the only thing he can think every minute, every time he sits in the suddenly-empty apartment they shared, every time he looks at sketchbooks full of idle drawings, every time he thinks about talking to anyone he knew, because they all knew Bucky too -- the only thing he can think is, he's gone, and it still hurts so much he can't breathe.
He doesn't say no. He just lets them move things along. And the first time he worries, wonders what it will be like, wonders what Bucky will think, is when Byron is opening the door and shooing the technicians out and telling them to give Steve a moment alone with his friend.
And it's too late to do anything but step inside.
He closes the door behind him with his eyes on the table, on the doll sitting there, looking like any other doll and somehow so different because of who he is.
"Bucky?"
Often enough that when he doesn't turn up for a month, they come looking for him. And when he tells them what happens, they practically drag him out of the house to that night's meeting, and things start happening, and nowhere along the way does Steve have the chance to say no.
No, that's not true. He could have. But he never does, never stops to think about the dolls that lie in the streets and what might have happened, never considers how it might turn out. All he knows is that they're offering him a way to get Bucky back, and he doesn't have the strength to say no to that. Not when the wound is this fresh. Maybe if he'd had a chance to heal, but not now, when the only thing he can think every minute, every time he sits in the suddenly-empty apartment they shared, every time he looks at sketchbooks full of idle drawings, every time he thinks about talking to anyone he knew, because they all knew Bucky too -- the only thing he can think is, he's gone, and it still hurts so much he can't breathe.
He doesn't say no. He just lets them move things along. And the first time he worries, wonders what it will be like, wonders what Bucky will think, is when Byron is opening the door and shooing the technicians out and telling them to give Steve a moment alone with his friend.
And it's too late to do anything but step inside.
He closes the door behind him with his eyes on the table, on the doll sitting there, looking like any other doll and somehow so different because of who he is.
"Bucky?"